Suraksha ke niyam.

Headline 27.10.08
Rahul khud nahi maante
suraksha ke niyam : UP
Postmortem :
Rahul baba ko manane se
to acha hai ki aap atankwad
ko kabu me rakhe, isi me sabki
bhalai hai aur apki izzat bhi...

Arushi case ka record

Headline 27.10.08
Arushi case - record goom.
Postmortem :
Chalo jaan chuti so lakho paye,
na raha baans na bajegi bansuri,
roz-roz ki janch se to chutkara mila.

Vidhyak ka report card

Headline 27.10.08
Vidhyak ji ka report card.
Postmortem :
10 me se 6 sawal to ate hi nahi,
3 ka jawab galat diya,
1 me compartment ai,
ab aap hi andaza laga lijiye
report card kya honi chahiye.

America me makaan

Headline 26.10.08
America me makaan kharid rahe Bhartiye.
Postsmortem :
Ghar beshak vahan kharido lekin gharwali
yahin se le kar jana varna ghar se beghar
hone me der nahi lagegi.

Marksheet degree naukaria

Headline 26.10.08
Ab marksheet aur degree sath-sath.
Postmortem :
Lekin naukario ka koi ata pata nahi.

Banner poster ke mamle

Headline 26.10.08
Banner poster lagane ke 50 mamle darj.
Postmortem :
Aur jinho ne le-de kar maamle ko
rafa-dafa karva liya unka bhi
koi hisab hai apke pass.

Netao ke karam

Headline 26.10.08
Shiela, Sajan ki chali, Maakan ki nahi.
Postmortem :
Shiela ne shalinta aur Sajan ne sajanta
dikhai hogi, lekin maakan ne makhan
nahi lagaya hoga.

Ek ka kaam panch me

Headline 25.10.08
Panch saal raaj karunga : Khanduri
Postmortem :
Arey kamaal hai aap,
itne alsi hai aap ya lalchi hai aap,
itni dhimi gati se chalenge aap,
log to ek saal me hi 5 saal ki kasar
nikal lete hai.

Nahi hai bhagwan

Headline 25.10.08
Nahi hai bhagwan !
Postmortem :
Jo nahi maante unhe yahan
apne Hindustan me le ao, kul
abadi ka 33 % bhagwan hai
aur har jagah mil jayenge.

'bhaiya' ka vidroh

Headline 25.10.08
Raj ke khilaf ek 'bhaiya' ka vidroh
Postmortem :
Behne bhi peeche nahi hai bhai saheb,
agar yakin na ho to isi akhbar ke isi page
par isi khabar ke upar wali khabar pad ke
dekh lijiye yakin ho jayega.

Vote daalne ka adhikar

Headline 24.10.08
Ghar nahi to kya,
vote daalne ka adhikar to hai.
Postmortem :
Jo log is dunia me hi nahi hai aap to
unke vote bhi dalwa dete ho, fir yeh
kaun si badi baat hai.

Kisano ko muawza.

Headline 24.10.08
Kisano ko bazar dar se mile muawza.
Postmortem :
Milega to bazar dar se hi lekin un tak
pahunchega kitna yeh dekhne wali baat hai.

Bhartio ki mahanta

Headline 24.10.08
Bharat sri lanka ko deta rahega sahayeta.
Postmortem :
Yahi to khubi hai hm Bhartio me,
apne ghar me kuch ho ya na ho lekin
hm auro ko zarur de dete hai.

Mehngai ka graf

Headline 24.10.08
Fir neechey aya mehngai ka graf.
Postmortem :
Khabro me zarur aya hoga,
vaise iski unchai dekhni ho to
ek dafa bazar ja kar cheezo ke daam
puch sakte hai aap.

Sansad ki mahima

Headline 24.10.08
Sansad me na kursi surakshit hai
aur na hi saansad.
Postmortem :
Khud sansad bhi kahan surakshit
hai, koi bhi andar ghus jata hai.

Umeedwaro ka chayan latka

Headline 23.10.08
Umeedwaro ka chayan latka.
Postmortem :
Shukra karo abhi to chayan hi latka
hai, jis din janta jaag gai sab latak jaoge.

Dewali ka tohfa

Headline 23.10.08
D-sealing karne ke nirdesh jari.
Postmortem :
Dewali ka tohfa mubarak ho
janta-janardhan

Badhai ke khilaf

Headline 23.10.08
Agar neta ji ne di badhai, to hogi sakht karvai.
Postmortem :
Kiske khilaf hogi yeh nahi bataya apne,
badhai dene wale ke khilaf ya lene wale ke khilaf.

Milavati muskurahat

Headline 23.10.08
Khoya hai milavati,
kaise kahe kuch meetha ho jaye.
Postmortem :
Aaj kal muskurahat kaun si asli hai, fir bhi
log ek dusre ko dekh kar muskurate hai.

Bacho ka bhojan

Headline 23.10.08
Mili bhagat se dakar gaye bacho ka bhojan.
Postmortem :
Bacho ka bhojan to dur ki baat hai, yahan to
pashuon ka chara bhi nahi choda jata.

Panch ka dus.

Headline 22.10.08
Ab stationo ke bahar bhi panch ka dus.
Postmortem :
Kaun c badi baat hai, jab sadan
ke andar panch ka dus ho sakta
hai to kahin bhi ho sakta hai.

Matlab ki dunia

Headline 22.10.08
Maa ka jagrata, ticket ki mannat.
Postmortem :
Bina mannat aur matlab ke yeh to
apne baap ko bhi nahi puchtey.

Raj ka gundaraj

Headline 22.10.08
Andar raj, bahar gundaraj.
Postmortem :
Aur sadan me yeh sochtey hai
kya karenge aaj ?

Hadse ke baad chetna

Headline 21.10.08
Hadse ke baad cheti metro.
Postmortem :
Vaise bhi hamare yahan hadse se
pehle chetne ka riwaz bhi nahi hai.

Jald hi ubar ayenge.

Headline 21.10.08
Jald hi ubar ayenge.
Postmortem :
Bilkul sahi ja rahe hai aap,
chunavo se pehle aise hi kehna
chahiye, baad ki baad me dekha jayega

Mandi me berozgari

Headline 21.10.08
Mandi se dunia bhar me
2 crore naukaria jayengi.
Postmortem :
Hongi to jayengi na, yahan to
vaise hi berozgaro ki kami nahi hai.

Bhumi heen

Headline 21.10.08
Bhumi heen karenge chunav ka bahishkar.
Postmortem :
Kyun bhai abhi to sirf bhumi heen hi ho,
kya chunav heen bhi hona chahte ho ?

Haadse par rajniti

Headline 20.10.08
Haadse ko lekar jam kar hui rajniti.
Postmortem :
Yahi to badkismati hai hamare desh ki
kabhi haadso par rajniti hoti hai aur kabhi
rajnii par haadse hone lagte hai.

Ghooskhor sarkari karmi

Headline 20.10.08
35 Ghooskhor sarkari karmi dabochey.
Postmortem :
Yeh 35 sarkari karmi bach gaye they ya
inse shuruyat ki hai.

Hatiyar chodne par

Headline 20.10.08
Hatiyar chodne par hogi atanko se baat.
Postmortem :
Janta ke saamne hatiyar chod kar baat kar lo,
fir pichle darwaze se vohi hatiyar le kar chalte
bano, dunia bhi khush ,hum bhi khush.

Shadi ke laddoo

Headline 20.10.08
Shadishuda ne rachai dusri shadi, giraftar.
Postmortem :
Shadi ke do laddoo to tumne kha liye
ab sugar tumhari check karegi police.

Pak ki zarurat

Headline 20.10.08
Pak ko turant chahiye 3.5 arab dolar.
Postmortem :
Itni si baat ke liye tension mat lo bhai,
apne admio ko bhejo dusre mulko me
hatiyaro ke sath aur vahan se koi jahaz
uthva lao bas paise ki problem solve

Schoolo ki halat

Headline 20.10.08
Sava lakh schoolo me sirf ek hi kamra.
Postmortem :
Vo bhi mastero ke chai peene aur gape
maarne ke kaam ata hoga.

Anaj hai par bache bhukhe

Headline 19.10.08
Anaj ke bhandar hai
fir bhi bache bhukhe.
Postmortem :
Netao ke peit to bhar jayein
pehle, fir bacho ko bhi dekh lenge.

Jim se behtar health mele

Headline 19.10.08
Mukhye mantri ne kiya
health mele ka udhghatan.
Postmortem :
Bilkul sahi kiya madam,
chunavo ke liye health ka
hona zaruri hai, aur yeh jim
se behtar hi sabit honge.

Voto ki khatir

Headline 19.10.08
Jo karega maange puri,
unhe hi milegi vote ki manzuri.
Postmortem :
Voto ki khatir abhi to haa kar denge,
baad me mukar jayenge to kya kar loge ?

Vikas ki yojna taiyar.

Headline 19.10.08
Vikas ki yojna taiyar.
Postmortem :
Kiske vikas ki ?
apne ya desh ke ?

Janta ki neno

Headline 19.10.08
Bangalore ke chatra chuda sakte hai
neno ka pasina.
Postmortem :
Janta to neno ko neno me basane ke
liye betab hai, aur aap hai jo pasina
chudane ko taiyar hai.

Maya ki palti

Headline 19.10.08
Maya ne mari palti, zameen lautai.
Postmortem :
Zara khayal rakhna maya ki yeh palti
kahin agle ko palatne ke liye to nahi hai ?

Pati ya bakra

Headline 18.10.08
Chand dekh kar utari piya ki arti.
Postmortem :
Bakrid yaad aa gai, bakre ko bhi halal
karne se pehle aise hi uski arti utari jati hai.

Janta ka sawal

Headline 18.10.08
BJP ke pehle 5 sawal afzal ko le kar.
Postmortem :
Aur janta ka sirf ek sawal, Jaswant ji
ba-izzat kandhar kise le kar gaye they ?

Ghooskhori me havalaat

Headline 18.10.08
Ghooskhori me 4 ko havalaat.
Postmortem :
Sirf 4 ko hi havalaat, bakio se ghoos
le kar chod diya kya ?

Blueline v/s DTC

Headline 18.10.08
Blueline bus DTC se takrai, 15 ghayal.
Postmortem :
Zarur yahi kaha hoga, kuchalne ka kaam
to mera hai, tum kyun aa gai beech me.

Shaadi ya umar qaid

Headline 18.10.08
Patni ke hatyare ko umar qaid.
Postmortem :
Shaadi bhi ek umar qaid hi hoti hai
yeh umar qaid us umar qaid se behtar
lagi kya ?

Maya ki Maya

Headline 17.10.08
Maya ke nehle par laloo ka dehla.
Postmortem :
Maya ki maya ko kaun pehchane,
sambhal ke, vo kab hukum ka ikka
nikale, yeh koi na jane .

Wapsi ek saal ke baad

Headline 17.10.08
Arey wah ek saal baad mila chori hua samaan.
Postmortem :
Kaun si badi baat hai, ek saal istmaal kar ke to
kisi ka bhi dil bhar jata hai, so vo wapis de gaya.

Jet karmion ki dewali

Headline 17.10.08
Jet karmion ki dewali jugmug.
Postmortem :
Kal ki akhbar me to unke dewale
ki khabar thi,
aj ki akhbar me dewali ho gai,
aur ane wale kal me kya hoga
yeh to khuda hi jane

Sarkar par mukadama

Headline 17.10.08
Delhi sarkar par mukadama chaley.
Postmortem :
Kya fayeda, jab tak mukadama chalega
tab tak to kai sarkarein badal jayengi.

DDA ki kamai.

Headline 17.10.08
DDA ne kamaye 21 crore.
Postmortem :
Yeh to kagzo ke upar ki kamai
ka hisab hai, neechey ki kamai
ka bhi koi hisab hai kya ?

Mummy papa line laga lo

Headline 16.10.08
Mummy papa line laga lo.
Postmortem :
Ab bhagwan ke waste aur line
mat lagana, agey hi hamari abadi
120 crore tak ja pahunchi hai.

Media ki bhumika

Headline 16.10.08
Media ki bhumika par sawal.
Postmortem :
Yaad rakhna kisi ki taraf aap ek
ungli uthate ho to baki ki charo unglia
apni hi taraf hoi hai.

BJP ka badlav

Headlne 16.10.08
Rang dhang badla BJP karaleya ka.
Postmortem :
Kehte hai khud ko badal lo to sari
dunia vaisi hi badal jati hai.

PNB ne saste kiye loan.

Headline 16.10.08
PNB ne saste kiye loan.
Postmortem :
Sasta menga to uske liye haota hai
jisne wapis kana ho, jisne wapis hi na
kana ho usko saste mhnge se kya, usey
to aap kisi bhi rate par dedo.

Samlengikta Kanoon

Headline 16.10.08
Samlengikta ko kanooni jama.
Postmortem :
Isko manyeta ab de hi deni chahiye,
kyun ki abadi rokne ka is se acha tarika
aur ho hi nahi sakta.

Sharmila bacha

Headline 15.10.08
Maternity home ke bahar bache ko diya janam.
Postmortem :
Wah kya sharmila bacha paida hua hai,
abhi se hi zanana ward me jane se sharmane laga.

Pehle Kingfisher phir Jet

Headline 14.10.08
Kingfisher aur jet me samjhota.
Postmortem :
Oho to ab samajh aya ki 'kingfisher'
ke andar jatey hi admi 'Jet' ki tarah
kyun udne lagta hai.

Share bazar phir gulzar

Headline 14.10.08
Share bazar phir gulzar.
Postmortem :
Iske behkave me na ana bhaiya
kab 'gul' alag ho kar reh jaye 'zar'
iska bharosa nahi hai mere yaar.

Ek din me passport

Headline 14.10.08
Ji ha ! Ek din me passport.
Postmortem :
1 : Kyun itni lambi-lambi chodte ho,
ek din me to vo shaksh bhi nahi milta
jo yeh kaam karva sake.
2 : Arey aap kharch karne ki himat to
rakho, phir dekho passport ek din me
to kya ek ghante me bhi ban sakta hai.

Ekta par siyasat bhari

Headline 14.10.08
Ekta par bhari padi siyasat.
Postmortem :
Ekta par siyasat bhari ya siyasat par ekta,
dono hi surto me aam admi hi pista.

Hath sabke sath

Headline 13.10.08
Hathi ki sawari chunav ki taiyari.
Postmortem :
Kamal ki jung, ek duje k sung,
baki reh gaya hath, jo sabke sath.

Rajdhani m hahakar

Headline 13.10.08
Rajdhani me bekhauf hote apradhi.
Postmortem :
Lachar ho gai janta, bekar ho gai sarkar.

Doctor ki dadagiri

Headline 13.10.08
Laaparvahi : Doctor par 50 hazar ka jurmana.
Postmotem :
Agle mariz ki to shaamat ai samjho,
us bechare ke bill me 50 hazar ka kharch
vaise hi badha diya jayega.

Banko ki suraksha

Headline 12.10.08
Banko me jama dhan surakshit : Chidambram
Postmortem :
Aur apke yeh bank kitne suraksht hai
is baat ka pata hame aye din akhbaro
me padne ko mil jata hai.

Agey ao desh bachao

Headline 12.10.08
Agey ao desh bachao.
Postmortem :
Agar aaj ke neta peechey
hat jaye to desh khud b khud
bach jayega.

Nishedh kagzo par

Headline 12.10.08
Nishedh kagzo par, dhumrapaan
saarvjanik sthalo par.
Postmortem :
Aur challan ke naam par ikathi hui
rakam adhikario ki jeb me.

Kharcho me katauti

Headline 12.10.08
Kharcho me ki jaye katauti.
Postmortem :
Aur katauti se jo bachat ho vo
sahi istmaal me aye, is baat ka bhi
khyal rakha jaye

Desh ki baagdor

Headline 10.10.08
Bharat ko bhari keemat chukani hogi.
Postmortem :
Jab desh ki baagdor bhrasht hatho me ho
to aur umeed bhi kya kar sakte hai.

Dusri ka prastav

Headline 10.10.08
Dusri aurat ko bhi patni ka darja
dene ka prastav.
Postmortem :
Dusri ka prastav pass ho jaye to
lage hatho teesri, chauthi ke barey
me bhi soch lena.

Mandi me niveshak

Headline 10.10.08
Mandi me kya karey niveshak.
Postmortem :
Chadar taan ke so jaye, mandi me
panga liya to na chaarpai bachegi
aur na hi odhne ke liye chadar.

Pehchan ke liye shiksha

Headline 10.10.08
Pehchan ke liye shiksha zaruri.
Postmortem :
Shiksha ke liye paisa, paise ke liye kaam,
aur kaam ke liye shanti puran mahol chahiye
jo shayad aap de nahi sakte.

Jali note aur neta

Headline 09.10.08
Jali noto ke sath UP ka neta dabocha.
Postmortem :
Jali noto ke sath neta ji asli they,
is baat ka pata laga lena bhaiya
kyun ki is khabar ke baad agar
neta ji asli hue, to kuch hoga nahi,
aur agar nakli hue to media
nahi chodega

Veeru-Basanti ped par

Headline 09.10.08
Shadi ke ashwasan ke baad
hi ped se utre veeru-basanti
Postmortem :
Uske baad bhi utarne ki kya
zarurat thi, ped par hi ghar basa
lete, kya pata kal fir kisi baat ko
lekar ped par chadna pad jaye.

Mandi ka upaye

Headline 09.10.08
Mandi se ubarne ke liye byaj me kami.
Postmortem :
Desh me aye din ho rahe ghotalo ko agar
kisi bhi tarah se rok diya jaye to yakinan
mandi dur ho sakti hai.

Us agle saal ka intzar.

Headline 08.10.08
Agle saal tak hi patri par laut
payegi arth vyavastha.
Postmortem :
1 : Aur us agle saal ka intzar to sara desh
kai saalo se badi besabri se kar raha hai.
2 :Aur yeh dailoge to pichle kai saalo se
sunte aa rahe hum.

Janta ki gaadi

Headline 08.10.08
Gujrat ko mila ratan aur neno ko mila ghar.
Postmortem :
Aur isi khushi me janta ko bhi unki gaadi neno
jaldi mil jaye to kitna acha ho.

Ghoose ki lat

Headline 07.10.08
Ghoose ki lat me 15 pahunche hawalat.
Postmortem :
Sirf 15 hi ? Lagta hai baaki ke beech
raste me ghoose de kar chalte bane honge.

Sarkar ki neend

Headline 07.10.08
Dhaha bazar to jagi sarkar.
Postmortem :
Yeh ghode bech kar sone wali
sarkar hai bhaiya, jab tak koi hadsa
na ho jaye tab tak inki neend hi kahan
khulti hai.

Delhi me ganga jal

Headline 07.10.08
Nahi milega aj se Delhi me ganga jal.
Postmortem :
Delhi ki jant ko aap sada peene ka pani
hi dedo to bhi ganimat hai, ganga jal
aap kya hi doge.

Janam sidh adhikar

Headline 07.10.08
Kuch is tarah kar rahe they rishwat ki maang.
Postmortem :
Maangne ka tarika inka to kuch is tarah hota
hai jaise inka janam sidh adhikar ho.

Sitarey zameen par

Headline 06.10.08
Bharat ke armaan bhi utrenge chand par.
Postmortem :
Jab sitarey zameen par aa sakte hai to
armaan chand par kyun nahi ja sakte.

Saansado ki niyat

Headline 06.10.08
Saansado ko har saal milenge 5 crore.
Postmortem :
Fir bhi inki niyat nahi bharne wali,
jahan inhe mauka milega ghotala to
yeh fir bhi kar hi jayenge.

Arushi kaand ke naye sirey

Headline 06.10.08
Arushi kaand ki naye sirey se jaanch.
Postmortem :
Vaise arushi kaand ki jaanch ke kitne
sirey hai jo har kuch dino me naye sirey
se shuru ho jate ho.

Delhi ke liye sapne

Headline 06.10.08
Delhi ko vishva stariye bnayenge : BJP
Postmortem :
Pehle aa to jao fir dekh bhi lena vaise
Delhi ko paris banane ka khwab to
congress ne bhi dikhaya tha uska kya hua ?

MCD ka sadak abhiyan

Headline 05.10.08
MCD 81 sadko ko karegi durust.
Postmortem :
Kyun bhai baaki sadko ne kya gunah
kiya hai ?

Ghar ki murgi daal barabar

Headline 05.10.08
Ambani hollywood ki aur,
hollywood mumbai ki aur.
Postmortem :
Kyun Ambani saheb ghar ki murgi
daal barabar samajh liya jo chal diye
hollywood ki aur.

Relly me afra-tafri

Headline 05.10.08
Sonia ki relly me afra-tafri.
Postmortem :
Yeh afra-tafri sonia ji ek jhalak
paane ke liye thi ya party ka ticket
paane ke liye.

Samaj-Tab aur Ab

Headline 05.10.08
Jab samajwad sirf shabad nahi tha.
Postmortem :
Tab samaj me aise neta aur log bhi nahi they.

Jeb kaatne ki tasali.

Headline 04.10.08
Jeb kaat ti 2 mahilaye giraftar.
Postmortem :
Kyun ji ghar me pati ki jeb kaatne se
tasali nahi hui thi kya jo bazar me aa gaye.

Ramlilao me siyasat

Headline 04.10.08
Ramlilao ke munch par siyasat.
Postmortem :
Vo neta hi kya jo siyasat ka koi
bhi mauka chod de

College shikshak malamaal

Headline 04.10.08
Ab college shikshak honge malamaal.
Postmortem :
Ek ek kar ke sabka nmbr aa raha hai,
lekin apna kab ayega ?

Dewali ka bonus

Headline 04.10.08
Rail karmion ko milega 73 din ka bonus.
Postmortem :
Dewali ke tyohar par to bonus theek hai,
vaise kaam to yeh 73 minute bhi zyada
nahi karte.

Ek ke sath ek free

Headline 04.10.08
Ek sath milengi 2 degreeian.
Postmortem :
Ek ke sath ek free ki scheme
yahan bhi chalu kar di, vaise
dulhan ke mamle me apka kya
vichar hai janab. ?

Munafe ki maya

Headline 03.10.08
Munafe ke agey badal gaya
maya nagri ka riwaj.
Postmortem :
Munafe ke agey to ache ache badal jate hai
phir yeh maya nagri cheez hi kya hai. ?

Do maharathi

Headline 03.10.08
Akhirkaar rang lai
Manmohan-Bush ki mehnat.
Postmortem :
Dono hi apne-apne desh ki janta ko
'Banane aur Chalane' me safal rahe.

Pak ka haale dil

Headline 03.10.08
Pak ke sath bhi ho atomi karar : Gilani
Postmortem :
Theek to hai bhai, Bharat ne to ladoo
kha liye ab pak kyun peechey rahe.

Delhi sarkar par jurmana

Headline 03.10.08
Delhi sarkar par 10 hazar ka jurmana.
Postmortem :
inke baap ka kya jayega, yeh janta par
tax laga kar vasool bhi kar lenge, mari
to janta jayegi.

Blue line ka 50va shikar

Headline 02.10.08
Blue line ka 50va shikar.
Postmortem :
Ardh shatak jama chuki blueline ko
ab to bahar ka rasta dikhaye sarkar,
nahi to kya shatak ban jane tak ka
karoge intzar ?

Bapu ki atma

Headline 02.10.08
Lijiye zinda ho gaye hai bapu
hamari khabar lene ke liye.
Postmortem :
Agar kahi sach me zinda ho jaye to
khoon ke ansu royenge dekh kar ki
sone ki chidia kahe jane wale desh ko
kya bana diya hamare honhar netao ne.

Chunavi kharch ka jugar

Headline 02.10.08
Phir badegi public schoolo ki fees.
Postmortem :
Chunav sar par hai, to kya chunavo
ka kharch yahin se nikaloge kya ?

Matdata ki majboori

Headline 02.10.08
Lakho matdata reh sakte
hai matdaan se vanchit.
Postmortem :
Ghabraiye nahi apka vote bekar nahi
jayega, aap matdaan se vanchit reh sakte
hai lekin apka vote zarur dal jayega.

Vivahit ki vidambna

Headline 01.10.08
Prem vivah karne wale dampati ko peeta.
Postmortem :
Vivahit admi ko to bilkul bhi nahi peetna
chahiye, kyun ki vo to pehle hi se pita hota hai.

Janta daav par

Headline 01.10.08
PM ne chinta jatai,
FM ne himat badai.
Postmortem :
Aur janta lagi daav par,
koi kuch nahi kar raha bhai.

Hath nahi laga surag

Headline 01.10.08
Police ke hath nahi laga surag.
Postmortem :
Ab ek hi baat ko baar baar kehna
acha nahi lagta hazoor, is khabar ke
sath ek hi dafa likh do ki yeh khabar
har case ke liye manye hai.

Janta ko chaien

Headline 01.10.08
Rakshaw mantralye me bechaini ka mahol.
Postmortem :
Sir agar aap bhi bechain hone lage to janta
ko chaien kaise milega ?

Mantri ki manmani

Headline 30.09.08
Mantri ki manmani se jawan shahid.
Postmortem :
Jawano se panga mat lena sir, jis din
yeh apni manmani par aa gaye to yakin
jano bistar sametne ka bhi waqt nahi milega.

Bhartiye bazar aur neta

Headline 30.09.08
Dham se gira Bhartiye bazar.
Postmortem :
Bhartiye bazar aur Bhartiye neta
me koi farak nahi hai, yeh kabhi bhi
aur kitna bhi gir sakte hai

Kitna zaruri hai dharam ?

Headline 30.09.08
Kitna zaruri hai dharam ?
Postmortem :
Behad zaruri hai hazoor, ab to yahi
ek hatiyar bacha hai jiske dum pe aap
kuch bhi kar sakte hai.

Zor ka jhatka....

Headline 30.09.08
Lagega bijli ka jhatka.
Postmortem :
Pehle hi Itne jhatke diye hai apne
ki ab to 'zor ka jhatka dheerey se lage
wala haal hai'.

Hardey divas ke karyekram

Headline 29.09.08
Vishva hardey divas par
jagrukta karyekram.
Postmortem :
Aur is karyekram me dil lene aur
dil dene ke bhi sare gur sikhaye jayenge.

Rishto ki mithas

Headline 29.09.08
Congress se rishtey me ab mithas nahi.
Postmortem :
Zyada mithas se sugar hone ka khatra
bhi rehta hai janab.

Police = Vakil + Doctor

Headline 29.09.08
Subah yes my lord, shaam ko nabaz dikhao.
Postmortem :
Aur dopahar ko inhe police wala bhi banao
kyun ki police ke baad hi admi ko vakil aur
doctor ki zarurat padti hai.

Dadu ki soch

Headline 29.09.08
Potey ho gaye angrezinda,
phir bhala hum kyun peechey rahe.
Postmortem :
Kyun dadu yeh soch angrezi seekhne
tak hi hai ya aur mamlo me bhi rakhte ho.

Hindu muslim ek

Headline 28.09.08
Gandhi jayanti par ID,
muslim duvidha me.
Postmortem :
Duvidha kaisi mere bhai,
yahin se sabak lelo ki
hindu aur muslim me koi
farak nahi.

Janta ki umeed

Headline 28.09.08
Dewali tak sainiko ko kar denge khush.
Postmortem :
Agli holi tak janta ka nmbr bhi lagega,
is baat ki umeed kar sakte hai kya ?

Masoomiyat me maut

Headline 28.09.08
Masoom ne dekhai sharafat,
badle me mili maut.
Postmortem :
Us bechare ko pata nahi tha
ki usne kalyug me janam liya hai.

Chintit log.

Headline 28.09.08
Tyeharo par suraksha ko lekar log chintit.
Postmortem :
Chinta to logo ke naseeb me hai
pehle kharche ki chinta hoti thi ab
suraksha ko lekar bhi hone lagi.

Dildaar Bhartiye

Headline 28.0.08
Sabse zyada dil ke rogi Bharat me
Postmortem :
Chalo is se ek baat to saaf ho gai,
ki Bhartio me dil to hai.

Badhai hi badhai

Headline 27.09.08
Badhai dene walo ka tanta laga raha.
Postmortem :
Abhi to CM ke liye hi naam ghoshit hua
hai to yeh alam hai, aur agar kahin PM ke
liye naam ghoshit ho jata to kya hota ?

Dosti ki parakh

Headline 27.09.08
Kushti se hogi dosti ki parakh.
Postmortem :
Aur jo zyada se zyada patakhania de
sakega, uski dosti utni hi pakki mani jayegi

Garibi mitane ke liye

Headline 27.09.08
Garibi ko mitane ke liye 16 arab dollar.
Postmortem :
Garibi to zarur mit sakti hai is
raam se ba-sharte yeh sari rakam
garibo tak pahunch jaye sahi.

Delhi me natak

Headline 27.09.08
Delhi me natak karna a ho gaya asaan.
Postmortem :
Kyun bhai inho ne sansad aur vidhan sabha
ko janta ke liye bhi khol diya kya ?

Mungeri lal k haseen sapne

Headline 27.09.08
Chunav me jeet pakki : Harshvardhan
Postmortem :
Is habar ko pad kar ek film yaad aa gai :
"Mungeri lal k haseen sapne"

DU me Gandhigiri

Headline 27.09.08
DU me nahi chal pai gandhigiri.
Postmortem :
Gandhi giri nahi chali to dada giri
chalne ki purey purey asaar hai.

Mauja hi mauja

Headline 26.09.08
Trafic vyvastha sudharne ko
kharch honge 12 arab.
Postmortem :
Arey wah ! Mauja hi mauja, kiski ?
Janta ki, nahi yaar, sudharne walo ki...

DU ki tele counseling

Headline 26.09.08
DU ki tele counseling sewa thap.
Postmortem :
Lagta hai chatro ne aise aise swal
puch liye honge ki counselars ko khud
hi couneling ke liye jana pada ho.

Police ka mood

Headline 26.09.08
Ek mamla, do mujrim dono pa alag alag case.
Postmortem :
Case kaun sa ar kis par darj karna hai,
yeh mujrim ke nazrane aur police ke mood
par nirbhar karta hai.

Aham jaankari

Headline 26.09.08
Aham jaankari lekar lauti police.
Postmortem :
Aham jaankari to Arushi murder
case me bhi inke hath lagi thi,
natija sab jaante hai.

Pati ki vyatha

Headline 25.09.08
Court me pati patni bhidey.
Postmortem :
Ghar ki char dewari me to pati
ki himmat nahi padti hogi, socha hoga
kyun na yahan janta ke beech hi bhid
liya jaye, waqt padne par kam se kam
log bacha to lenge.

Lage raho munna bhai

Headline 25.09.08
Mumbai police ne pakde 5 atankwadi.
Postmortem :
Shabash munna bhai lage rehna, aj 5 hai
to kal 50 bhi honge.

Turant harjana

Headline 25.09.08
Turant dena hoga harjana : High Court
Postmortem :
Harjana to turant hi dete hai ur honr.
lekin ghayal ko nahi police walo ko.

Sarkar ki neend

Headline 25.09.08
Yamuna me baadh, log hue behal.
Postmortem :
Kyun shor macha ke sarkar ki neend
kharab karte ho, jab log doob jayenge
to sarkar do char bol hamdardi ke bol ke
muawze ka elan bhi kar degi.

Delhi ki daastan

Headline 24.09.08
Bhaap dada sunayenge Delhi ki daastan.
Postmortem :
Bijli dadi ke intkaal ke baad bhaap dada
se hi to umeed hai.

Dehshat me compania

Headline 24.09.08
Dehshat me hai company jagat.
Postmortem :
Sarkari nitian, share bazar me utha patak
aur karamcharion ki hadtal, is mahol me
kaun sahi reh sakta hai.

Tehzeeb ka path

Headline 24.09.08
Shramik se tameez se pesh
aye prabhandan : Kendra.
Postmortem :
Kitna tameez se pesh aye,
jitna aap sansad me pesh ate
hai ek dusre ke sath.

Chaukana hua prashasan

Headline 24.09.08
Uffan par yamuna,
chaukana hua prashasan.
Postmortem :
Itni bhi jaldi kya hai,
pehle baadh to aa jane do,
logo ko doob jane do fir havai
jahaz se daura bhi kar lena.

Vakil aur police

Headline 23.09.08
Farzi vakil police ki giraft me.
Postmortem :
Arey bhai zara yeh dekh lena
police to asli hai na ?

Hi-tech city

Headline 23.09.08
Blood ko mohtaj hai hi-tech city.
Postmortem :
To shayad isi liye vahan blood
zyada bahaya jata hai, khoon khrabe
vahan kuch zyada hi hote hai.

Peyjal sankat

Headline 23.09.08
Peyjal sankat rahega agle 2 din.
Postmortem :
Koi baat nahi hum coke aur soda
se hi kaam chala lenge.

Delhi ke school

Headline 23.09.08
Delhi ke school desh bhar me aval.
Postmortem :
Padai likhai me to pata nahi,
lekin MMS jaise kaand banane
me to sach me inka koi jawab nahi.

Sirf nehru place ?

Headline 23.09.08
Bhagwan bharose nehru place.
Postmortem :
Sirf nehru place ? sara desh kahiye janab.

Sabse pehle peit puja

Headline 22.09.08
Soochna se zyada ko utavle they patil : Modi
Postmortem :
Theek to hai modi saheb, soochna to baad me
bhi vahi rehti, lekin lunch khatam ho jata to ?

Apni apni soch

Headline 22.09.08
Chedkhani se tang chatra ne
zehar khake jaan di.
Postmortem :
Ek they shahid ins. sharma jinhone
desh ke liye jaan di, aur ek hai yeh
thana prabhari jinki vajah se jaan gai.

Bharat ke sapne

Headline 22.09.08
Bharat ka vishva group me
pahunchne ka sapna tuta.
Postmrtem :
Bharat ke kya-kya sapne na tute,
inspector sharma ka sath aur
ishmeet ke sur bewaqt hi chutey.

Sarkar ka nikamapan

Headline 21.09.08
Yamuna ka jalstar badne ki ashanka.
Postmortem :
Delhi me ho rahe kaand aur sarkar ke
nikamepan ki vajah se to inhe vaise hi
doob kar mara jana chahiye, pani ki
zarurat to padegi hi nahi.

Taraki ki intha

Headline 21.09.08
Sadhe teen varsh ki umar me bane baap.
Postmortem :
Taraki to humne ki hai yeh to pata tha
lekin itni taraki hum kar chuke hai ki
sadhe teen saal ki umar me bhi baap bana
ja sakta hai yeh to aj hi pata laga.

Aur ab Ilamabad.

Headline 21.09.08
Aur ab Ilamabad.
Postmortem :
Atankwad ka na koi dharam hai
na koi jaat, aur na hi koi thikana,
jis khuda ne paida kiya usne ne bhi
na jana.

Atankion ko karara jawab.

Headline 20.09.08
Atankion ko karara jawab.
Postmortem :
Aur jo 2 atanki bhag gaye hai vo kya
apka jawab kisi aur tak pahunchane
gaye hai kya ?

Kanoon ka hath

Headline 20.09.08
Taukir ka dahina hath tha atif.
Postmortem :
Hath dahina ho ya bahina, kanoon
se lamba to nahi ho sakta.

Chunavo se phle ka tohfa

Headline 20.09.08
Doodh ke daam badhe.
Postmortem :
Chunavo se pehle janto ko diya yeh tohfa
kahin mehnga na pad jaye, yeh khyal rakhna.

Maa ka naam

Headline 19.09.08
Maa ka naam bhi maanye ho.
Postmortem :
Maa ka naam hi maanye hona chahiye
kyun ki baap ke naam par to shak ho
sakta hai lekin maa ke naam par nahi.

Qaidion ki class

Headline 19.09.08
Ab qaidi padayenge sathio ko.
Postmortem :
Ek saal ka degree course hoga
jisme vidyarthion ko jeb kaatne
se lekar, bank lootne aur balatkar
tak sab kuch sikhaya jayega.
(Theory & Practical Both)

Ashiq mijazi

Headline 19.09.08
Premika ko ghumane ke liye
karta tha vahan chori.
Postmortem :
Aur uske baap ko khush karne ke
liye bank lootega kya ?

Kagzi hakikat

Headline 19.09.08
Kisano ko milega bada hua muawaza.
Postmortem :
Kagzo par hi milega ya hakiqat me bhi milega ?

Rog ya apradh

Headline 18.09.08
Khud kushi ka pryas rog hai apradh nahi.
Postmortem :
Agar bach jaye to rog nahi to apradh.

Jhamajham barish

Headline 18.09.08
Jhamajham barish se sarabore hui rajdhani.
Postmortem :
Aur har gali, har kuchey, har sadak,
har modpar MCD ki pole kholti nazar ai

Ek mauka aur

Headline 18.09.08
Ab kudedaan badle jayenge.
Postmortem :
Acha hai ek mauka aur mila
apni jbe bharne ka.

Dhong ki rajniti

Headline 17.09.08
Chalo phir se ajnabi ban jaye hum dono.
Postmortem :
Bas bahut ho chuka, subah dhong rachate
ho aur sham hote hi mehfil jamate ho.

Mungeri lal ke sapne

Headline 17.09.08
Mayawati ko banayenge PM.
Postmortem :
Mungeri lal ke haseen sapne.

Rajdhani me badenge thane

Headline 17.09.08
Rajdhani me badenge thane.
Postmortem :
Arey seedhey se kaho ki
mol bhav karne ke avsar aur
sthan ab adhik mila karenge.

Mamta ki dhamki

Headline 17.09.08
Mamta ne phir di dhamki.
Postmortem :
Mamta ki dhamki bhi mamta bhari
hoti hogi jo asar nahi ho raha.

Delhi k halaat

Headline 17.09.08
Blast se Delhi me praytak hue kam.
Postmortem :
Apko kamai ki padi hai, yahan to
Delhi ke halaat dekh ke ankhe ho
jati nam.